Welcome to Episode 18 of Make it Happen Monday!
Published every Monday, this is my weekly video series helping you to blast through any barriers holding up your success in life and business and giving you weekly tips and inspiration to move forward to achieve your goals and dreams.
How often do you compare yourself to other people and wish you had what they have?
Sometimes we look at others and think, “That person is richer/thinner/better/more successful than me.” The list goes on.
Just look on Facebook or Instagram and you’ll see plenty who seem to have it all. They might be people in your niche with more followers or more comments on their blogs, or they might be your friends and neighbors who have a better relationship/car/job than you.
But this comparison process is not only pointless, it often lacks the important factor of the truth. You have no real idea who that person is or what happens behind their closed doors.
In this week’s Make It Happen Monday, I’m talking about why comparing yourself to others will only lead to heartache and how you can learn to measure yourself against yourself instead.
Today, I want to talk about the terrible effects of comparing yourself to other people. I spoke recently about thinking ‘I’m not good enough’ and how to obliterate this
I have a nine-year old daughter (going on 15)! She’s always coming home and saying to me, “Mummy, this person has got this.” Or, “This person is slimmer than me.” Or, “This person is smarter than me.”
I’m constantly telling her, “Do you know what, honey? In life, you’re always going to get that. You’re always going to have somebody that’s got something you want.”
Truth is, there’s always somebody, in your eyes, that’s cleverer than you, more beautiful, smarter, richer, thinner, in a better relationship etc.
There’s always going to be somebody out there who appears to have more than you, or has what you want. This can lead to complete disaster.
The simple fact is you don’t actually know what’s going on inside that person’s life.
They may look like they have it all. They may look like they have this perfect life, but you have no idea what goes on behind closed doors.
It’s very dangerous to start looking at others and think, ‘I want to be them’ or ‘I want to be like them.’”
We all compare ourselves to others. In fact, what makes me laugh is how we do it and then we go and do the opposite!
I might see somebody who’s super slim. Instead of thinking, “Great, I’m going to go to the gym because I want to have a body like hers,” I come home and think, “Oh well, I’m not as slim as her anyway so I might as well just eat that packet of crisps and enjoy myself!”
You compare yourself to somebody else, and then you do the opposite!
Do you ever go through your Facebook news feed for instance, or Instagram, Twitter, blog posts or Google, you see people in your industry or niche, and maybe their businesses are more successful than yours?
Maybe they’ve got more followers, more shares or more comments. It’s so easy to get incredibly downhearted when you’re constantly comparing your performance to the performance of other people.
Remember, you don’t actually know what’s going on inside that person’s life.
Perhaps they have been in your industry longer. Maybe they had more of a financial start in life, or maybe they were just in the right place at the right time.
Maybe they have just worked their backsides off to get where they are today. Who knows? There could be a multitude of reasons!
Your challenge this week, should you choose to accept it, is…
Turn the inevitable comparisons into motivators:
1) Pick your role models
I wholly believe in the power of role models. There’s nothing wrong with seeing other people who are super successful in your industry and thinking, “what does this person do to be that successful? “
What does that person do to have that many followers or that many shares etc? What are the processes they take in order to achieve this, and how can I emulate some of the steps?”
This is role modelling. It’s essentially looking at what somebody else does and then making some strategic decisions about actions you’re going to take in order to get the same results.
It’s not looking at somebody and thinking ‘I wish’ and beating yourself up about it.
2) Set your benchmarks
The best way to avoid that kind of, “Oh, I want what they’ve got,” comparison is to set benchmarks.
Decide some of the things that you want to achieve, the results that you want to see in your business or life, and then make sure that every week, month etc, you can measure your own improvement.
By all means, emulate your role models. But don’t compare yourself directly to them. Remember, you don’t know what their journey has been
Instead, set some measurables that YOU want to improve upon.
For instance, let’s say you want to increase the unique visits to your blog. So you might say, “I’m going to go for 5000 visits this month.”
The next month, you want to make sure that whatever you do, you get more than 5000 visits. Let’s say you go for 7000. The following month, you want to go for 10,000 visits….and so on.
In other words, you constantly measure yourself against yourself.
By doing that, you see improvement, you see progress, and you get some quick wins.
You’ll start feeling good about yourself. Your confidence and self-esteem will soar.
By comparing yourself against yourself, and really focusing on improving what you’re doing, you get a whole positivity thing going on, which is going to bolster your self-confidence and move you forward further and faster.
Be the very best YOU you can be. Because you’re unique, you’re awesome, and you can do it, whatever that is!
Once you’ve watched the video, I’d love to hear from and about you.
Tell me, in the comments below:
How are you going to stop worrying about others and focus on YOU?
Sharing your story could create a huge “AHA” moment for other visitors to this post, so we’d love to hear from you.
Please share below.
Thanks for watching.
Have an amazing week, live life on purpose and make it happen!