It’s 4.45am and I am excitedly getting the last of my little backpack ready for the next 23 days!
Today my Sister & I fly to Kathmandhu in Nepal. We’re staying at a place called Thamel in the heart of Kathmandhu for a couple of days as we explore the local area and tomorrow head up in a small plane to experience Everest up close!
On Monday we fly down into Delhi in India, where we jump on a train on Tues morning to head to Agra to see the Taj Mahal in all it’s glory.
Back to Delhi on Weds for a couple of days before heading off for a 4 hour train ride down to Jaipur.
2 days here followed by a day and a half exploring the Ghats on the Ganges at Varanasi – apparently an incredible cultural experience.
Last Indian stop is Madurai to see the Meenakshi Amman temple before we jet off to Sri Lanka for a couple of days.
Then we end the trip with 3 days on a paradise Island in the Maldives!
Phew! Some trip!
Will be updating as we go and sharing photos where possible, (no idea of internet quality yet), particularly over on Instagram.
If you have any tips on any of the above places I’d love to hear them!
In the meantime I need to finish packing! :)
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The word imposter means: ‘one who engages in deception under an assumed name or identity’.
Now that’s not many of us (thank God!) How many of us walk around with a clutch of different passports, or work for the secret services?
And yet most of us know what it feels like to be an imposter. We may not call ourselves by a different name, or walk around in disguise, but we’ve all felt that panicky, ‘what-am-I-doing-here?’ feeling.
It’s a feeling that comes with not living life on your own terms.
Do you ever feel you need to be a certain way to keep family members happy? What about friends or work colleagues?
It’s actually a scientific term. Imposter syndrome is defined by ‘a persistent fear of being exposed as a ‘fraud‘.’
Why do we sometimes feel like an imposter?
A lot of what we believe about the world, and what we believe about ourselves, comes from our environment. This is a double-edged sword. Our environment can give us a lot of positives. The problem is when some of those beliefs are negative.
These become self-limiting beliefs. It’s that little voice in your head that tells you, ‘you can’t do this’ or ‘you’re not good enough for this’.
Self-limiting beliefs can strike in many forms. Perhaps you believe you don’t deserve a happy relationship? Or you’re not the sort of person who could be good at sports?
In business, perhaps you don’t believe you’re good enough to promote yourself as a public person? Perhaps you don’t feel you have what it takes to be a successful entrepreneur?
How do we be who we really want to be?
1) Keep a notebook / diary and jot down moments of envy.
The truth of who we really want to be sometimes reveals itself in moments of envy. Note any envious moments. What exactly about a certain person or situation makes you feel envious? What is it you feel you lack?
I might sometimes have a moment when I see someone who started around the same time as me with a wildly successful blog or social media account.
You’re not alone and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Grab that moment and use it to set a fire under your backside! :)
2) Keep a note of any daydreams you have.
When we allow our minds to wander, we temporarily suspend all of our self-limiting beliefs. It’s in these moments of no constraints that the truth of what we really desire comes out.
I daydream about becoming a best selling author, about becoming a successful documentary maker in developing countries and being a size 10 and looking amazing in a white bikini!
3) Now, note down all the self-limiting beliefs you have.
If you’ve followed steps 1 and 2, this part will be easy. Whenever we feel envious of someone, we’ll rationalise it by using our self-limiting beliefs.
For example, I might see a hugely successful travel blog and feel a pang of envy and then begin to rationalise it with my own self limiting beliefs of – ‘OMG, look how young and beautiful the blogger is, doesn’t she look amazing in that white bikini, I’ll never be as successful because I’m past it now!’.
Crazy talk! She’s successful because she’s been posting consistently for the past few years while I’ve been sunning myself on the Phuket beaches!
You might meet someone who tells you about a webinar they hosted recently and they had hundreds of attendees. You feel a pang of envy, but then you rationalise it by thinking ‘this person is a natural showman, I’m not’ or they’re a natural presenter, or they’re better at marketing, whatever you think is holding you back.
Also, whenever we daydream, we have tendency to pull ourselves back to our current reality, again using our self-limiting beliefs. So if we’ve been daydreaming about holding a webinar which is a massive success, soon enough, there will be a voice in our heads saying something like ‘you can’t hold a successful webinar – you don’t have an engaging personality’ etc.
Look at your business and evaluate your self-limiting beliefs. What are your beliefs about your technical skills? About making videos? About starting a blog? About promoting yourself as a public figure? About writing an eBook? About hosting webinars?
4) Now change the question. Amend each belief to ‘But, if I could do this, what would I do?’
So, if you’re feeling envious of this webinar superstar for example, and the voice in your head is saying you don’t deserve success because you’re not like them, change it to, ‘But if I could do what they’re doing even without being a confident presenter yet, what would I do?’
It’s easier to act yourself into thinking than to think yourself into acting. In other words start doing what it is you want to do and soon enough you’ll be who you want to be!
The only way for me to become a best selling author is to write books! They may not be great books to start with, but it’s only by doing it we become better at it!
I recently went skiing and spent the first two days in perpetual snow plough with tears of fear icing up on my face!
By the end of the 6 day trip I was parallel skiing and whooping down a baby blue run!
The ‘Be, Do, Have’ model is all wrong. You can’t Be until you Do!
So change the belief by asking yourself, if you could do what they’re doing, what would you do? What qualities do they have that you could adopt? Are they incredibly friendly and generous? Are they the sort of person who makes people feel good when they are around them? What about them could you emulate?
Perhaps another self-limiting belief you have in your business is that you would suck at doing a webinar and that no one would attend.
Change that belief to, ‘But if I was webinar rock star, and hundreds of people would attend, what would I do / how would I go about it?’
Then, whatever you said you would do, DO IT. Act yourself into thinking!
5) Write your dying regrets.
Now, I’m not trying to be morose here, but asking yourself what you would regret not having done if you were going to pop off today is great way of really getting to the crux of how you want your life to be.
Sometimes we live aimlessly, letting life take us on it’s own path, without putting a steak in the ground and saying – No, I want to go this way!
It’s easy enough to do. We get busy, put other people first and all of a sudden 10 years has passed.
What do YOU want. Who do YOU want to be. What will make YOU happy.
I guarantee you won’t ever regret what you tried, only what you didn’t.
Will the above exercise completely eradicate ‘imposter syndrome’? No. There will be moments when you will still feel like an imposter.
But the stories you tell yourself in your own head, are just that, stories.
Change your story.
It’s your life, and you deserve to have the starring role! Be the best YOU you can be.
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How many times do you have a fabulous idea but then never actually see it through to fruition?
Don’t worry I’m not here to criticize, we’re all the same.
I can have hundreds of ideas a day around different things but most either just go away or get written in a big black book (a page on Evernote) for some later day that may never come and some get acted on if I follow a specific process.
I was listening to a great James Altucher podcast recently and he was discussing why people have so many ideas but take little action.
He came up with a great theory, here it is….
(Excuse the fact that I’m looking like a well groomed supermodel in this video!)
Watch Episode 95 Here
Please let me know in the comments below if you have any questions. I’m here to help!
Also, please share with your friends if you think this Make It Happen Monday episode has been useful and of course have an amazing week, live life on purpose and Make It Happen.
Thanks for watching!
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Good morning in Malayasian!
It’s Sunday again and I’m off Scuba Diving today off the Sipidan Islands, here in Borneo.
It’s been a frustrating week, as we arrived in Kota Kinabalu last Saturday and I’ve been sick most of the week with a chesty cough thing which has left me feeling a bit lackluster to say the least, and as someone who thrives off energy and feeling great, to have none in a new place I want to explore is not great!
Anyway, what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger right!
Am feeling lots better today and am looking forward to seeing turtles, sharks, rays and all sorts!
But I am super excited!
While laying by the pool feeling sorry for myself this week, I have done lots of research into the future of Facebook & Instagram and recorded what I hope is a very informative Make It Happen Monday video which I’ll release in the next couple of weeks.
I have also written out a very clear vision for the next 10 years of my life (note I said vision as opposed to goals, very important distinction, I’ll cover that in another post).
Lastly my husband to be & I decided upon the name and direction for our new ecommerce brand we’re launching in 2020!
It feels like the last 9 years online has all been practice for what’s to come next and I can’t wait to share it with my community!
That’s it from me.
Have an amazing Sunday, a super productive week ahead and don’t forget to take a moment today to check in yourself and ensure you’re heading in the right direction.
Sending big inspiring, motivational hugs your way!
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You know that moment when you’re asking yourself if you have in fact made the right decision.
Whether you have what it takes to see it through.
That moment when deep inside you’re sure this is what you want to do but you wonder why it feels so hard, so stressful, so scary, so beyond your capability…
That moment, according to Steven Pressfield author of ’The War of Art’ is called resistance.
We all get it.
It comes with such force that a large percentage of the population never get past it.
It’s the invisible energy that strips us of our dreams, that causes us to spend our lives half lived, never reaching our true potential, never becoming who we really want or wanted to be.
It takes its form in doubt, in fear, in the little voice that says ‘I can’t’ and in the eyes of the limiting beliefs of our family & friends who lovingly confirm our darkest thoughts.
Isn’t it a shame, that it holds such power over us.
If only we could get past it, round it, over it, under it, through it.
What’s on the other side??
The only way to know is to act.
To do it anyway, even if you think you can’t.
Because what if you could?
What if you have got what it takes? What if you can do it? What if you are who you thought you were all along!!!
Speak to it out loud and say – ‘Resistance is futile my friend’.
Because I CAN! 🙂
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Hey hey awesome action taker!
I want to ask you a question – ‘What’s on your bucket list?’
Do you even have a bucket list?
In fact what the heck is a bucket list??
The saying actually comes from an English term ‘to kick the bucket’ which is slang for ‘to die’ and it was then made into an international phenomenon with the film ‘The Bucket List’ with Morgan Freeman & Jack Nicholson. (Brilliant film and highly recommended).
I wrote my first bucket list (not actually knowing that’s what it was at the time), some 20 years ago. It was a huge list of all the things I would love to do in my life and included things like;
- Cruise along the Nile (done in 2009)
- Have a ride in a Hot Air Balloon Ride (Done in 2016 – Bagan – Myanmar)
- Live by the Beach (Very close – but not there yet)
- Swim with Dolphins (Done on multiple occasions, most recent in Philippines with my daughter)
- Learn to fly a helicopter (Took lessons in 2009 but a long way from qualified)
- Watch the Epcot fireworks with the man of my dreams (Done – 2017)
- Host a party on a yacht (maybe my 50th in 4 years!)
- Visit the 7 wonders of the world (Not even sure what counts as 7 wonders anymore as there are so many versions, but the wonders I have seen, have included – The Pyramids, Great Barrier Reef, Grand Canyon, The Great Wall of China, The Colosseum in Rome and so many more amazing sights and experiences. So much more to see!)
- Scuba dive off the Great Barrier Reef (Done 2012)
- Have a flat stomach (Yes when I was about 15! LOL!)
Since then my list has evolved into dreamboards, goal apps, a goal journal etc, but nothing really changes from the fact it’s all simply lists of stuff I’d love to do / experience in my life.
A few years ago after seeing an amazing picture online of Bora Bora, I added that to my bucket list, honestly believing it was a pretty far fetched dream (it was well before I started my online adventure).
Last summer, I’m happy to say, that goal, dream, bucket list item was realized.
Not only that, we sailed around the amazing island on a 46ft Catamaran.
Not only that, the love of my life and my partner for 10 years, proposed to me while there!
You can’t get much better than that right!!!
(Just click on any photo below to see full size in a slideshow)
So how did we manage to find ourselves sailing around Bora Bora on a 46ft Catamaran?
Well, as I’m sure you’re by now aware we live in Phuket and I have to admit we punch way above our weight as far as our friend circle goes!
So we just happen to know a fair few people who own nice boats, houses, islands that kind of thing. :)
Two of our best friends happen to be part of the Sunsail Yacht Ownership program – and one Sunday afternoon after a few beers on the beach we just invited ourselves along on their family holiday in the South Pacific.
Don’t get me wrong, it still wasn’t cheap, but a darn sight cheaper than trying to do it on our own.
So there were in fact 8 of us on the boat, which was a pretty tight squeeze, but thankfully we all got along famously (thanks in part to copious amounts of Hinano) and had a fabulous time.
I have to admit though, neither Rhett nor I are natural born sailors and found the trip over the open ocean from Raitea (where we picked up the boat) to Bora Bora quite challenging;
Once there though we went swimming with eagle rays & black tipped reef sharks, which was amazing, exhilarating and bloody scary all at the same time.
In fact there was a moment where it was just Rhett & I and he had counted 9 circling us. Next thing he saw were my fins frantically kicking me the hell out of there!
Hahaha! We know who he can count on in a dangerous situation!
I was very excited to see a space station fly past the milky way several nights in a row due to the lack of light pollution out there in the pacific (unfortunately my camera couldn’t quite pick that up!)
And a definite highlight was a night at Bloody Mary’s, a famous restaurant on the main island and frequented by many stars before us!
Just my name to add on eh!? 😉
But of course the main wonderful event was Rhett asking me to marry him on the front of the boat as the sun rose over the main island. So romantic!
An amazing trip at a beautiful location which will live in my memory forever.
So the question is….
What’s on Your Bucket List?
Whilst I’m not a huge fan of ‘The Secret’ as I think it promotes the idea that you simply have to close your eyes and visualise what you want and all your dreams will come true. I do believe in the strength of your thoughts and desires in the universe.
It’s amazing how over the years the things I have really focused on and have been passionate about have eventually come to fruition.
-Raising my daughter overseas
-Living in a hot country
-Marrying a gorgeous big Aussie guy
-Traveling the world
-Running my business remotely
I could go on and perhaps I will in another post, but I urge you to write a bucket list if you don’t have one already or go back to an old one and revive it.
Mark the things that are really important to you in different colors or give them deadlines, create a picture board, write it out in priority order, it doesn’t really matter.
Just as long as you look at it often, dream vividly about all the things you’d love to do and in turn direct your focus and attention to doing (operative word) what you need to do to move you closer to your dreams!
It’s amazing how the universe works with you once you really have your mind set on something!
Thanks for reading have an awesome week and Make It Happen!
P.S. If you’d love to visit Bora Bora and are unsure how to go about it, I found some awesome blog posts you might enjoy reading;
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As I write this post I’m sitting in a taxi on the way to the JW Marriott hotel in Kuala Lumpur.
It’s 34 degrees and rain is threatening (it was a very bumpy ride in on the plane).
I’ve done this journey so often now that coming here on my own for a couple of days to renew my Thai visa is as comfortable as slipping into an old (and well loved) pair of shoes.
I know the airport, the taxi route, the city, my favourite place to eat (Johnny Rockers because they sing and dance!), where to get a good pedicure and massage and I wouldn’t hesitate to head down to Petaling Street after dark and do a bit of bargain hunting.
And yet, when I sat gawping at the larger than life Petronas Towers in the film Entrapment back in 1999, as Catherine Zeta Jones looked up at them in awe, Kuala Lumpur seemed like a far away, exotic, distant land and almost unachievable dream.
In fact when I was at school, I had a friend who’s Mum was English and Dad was Malaysian and back then I didn’t even really know what or where Malaysia was. It sounded like it was in another galaxy!
That was my reality back then. The town I lived in, its surrounding areas and the people I mixed with were my world and as far as I could see.
The opportunities I pursued, the goals and dreams I had were all limited by the reality I created for myself.
It’s a state we all live in for so much of our life. What we can see, feel and are comfortable with us what life is. It’s our reality.
Adele has just been named the richest female celebrity in the UK. Do you think that was her reality 10 years ago?
Nick Vujicic (no arms, no legs, no problem) is married with kids. Do you think that was his reality when he was young and looking at all the so called ‘normal’ people.
I’m posting this article on a website which will reach people around the world in seconds. Whose reality was that 30 years ago? Certainly wasn’t mine!
My point is, what we see, feel or are comfortable with is the reality we have created for ourselves. We have to look beyond ourselves to realise there’s a great big world of unending opportunity out there that’s ours for the taking if we want it badly enough.
My reality has continued to grow and change over the years through the people I’ve met, the stories I’ve read, the risks I’ve taken, the uncomfortable moments I’ve put myself through and the constant and never ending desire to find a purpose bigger than myself.
My question to you is, What’s Your Reality? What self imposed limitations have you got stopping you from living your dreams? Who do you need to meet and mix with to expand your view of life?
If someone else has done something you want to do it means it can be done. So what’s stopping you?
Don’t settle. Life’s too short.
Make a commitment today to create your own reality.
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Is it primarily a female thing?
Is it mainly us girls who aren’t keen on promoting ourselves?
I guess some guys will empathize also, but I do think it’s one of the reasons so many women won’t fight for their seat at the table.
I mean think about, who are some of the greatest self promoters in the world?
Trump immediately comes top of mind, followed closely by Hitler and fully encompassed by the Kardashians.
Is it any wonder we feel self promotion is a negative thing! 😂
But if your business, brand, product or service is fronted by you, then you better believe you need to become pretty good at self promotion.
However, you can of course do it in such a way that you love it, your audience loves it and its total win win.
Here’s 10 ways to promote yourself and thoroughly enjoy the process!
1. Focus on your customer
Take the attention away from you and onto your customer by focusing on solving their problems. A business is all about providing a solution to a problem or enhancing someone else’s life in someway, so no matter what business you’re in, even if you’re a public figure, talk to and about your customers rather than yourself!
This way you’re promoting your knowledge, experience and product or service with our overtly promoting it.
2. Know your stuff
The more confident you feel about your knowledge of your business or niche, the more comfortable you’ll be blogging, podcasting, videoing or posting on social media about it.
There’s nothing worse than trying to be something you’re not (especially for a woman) so make sure you know what you’re talking about and can back yourself up.
3. Add immense value, be informative, be knowledgeable
Zig Ziglar once said “You will get all you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want.”
The fastest way to love what you do and to take the focus away from the ego is simply to work every day to add immense value to your potential audience.
If you’re focused daily on how many people ‘like’ ‘follow’ or ‘engage’ with you, you’re going to be consistently disappointed, especially in the early days of building your brand.
Ask yourself every single day, how can I add immense value to my marketplace today? Go out into the websophere with that attitude and the universe will talk back!
4. Engage with your audience
Don’t publish for publishings sake. Be sure to head back to your social media accounts and chat with your growing audience. Always remember you’re never too big too fail!
No matter how popular your brand might get, always be humble and helpful and recognize the audience that put you where you are.
5. Be inclusive
I’ve referenced a webinar I listened to years ago by the lovely Mari Smith so many times now. That’s because it had such a profound affect on me. It was called the ’10 Qualities of Social Media Superstars’.
One of the things she spoke about was being inclusive. These days with the sheer enormity of the internet reaching a global audience, we don’t need to worry about competition anymore. There is more than enough to go round.
Talk about your peers and what they can offer and they will at some point talk about you. What goes around comes around right?
But guess what, even if they don’t, you’ll have gone above and beyond to your community by giving them further solutions to their problems which will come back tenfold on you. Win Win!
Leading on from the above point, a great way to grow your profile, your business and your brand is to collaborate with experts & influencers in your niche.
This of course is easier said than done as they’re being approached left right & center by people who think they can give them a hand up to stardom.
The best advice I can give you is to ‘be so good they can’t ignore you’(Steve Martin said it first). Then give it time.
If you’re putting the work in, growing your audience, providing immense value, standing out from the crowd, all the while being inclusive, doing interviews, attending events etc, collaborations will form naturally.
7. Don’t be afraid to show vulnerability
This one is a tough one as deep down inside I think we’re all scared of showing our softer side, but we all have one! Author Brene Brown reckons vulnerability is one of our greatest fears and yet our greatest connector with others.
When I show vulnerability I get scared of being judged, of people thinking less of me etc. When in reality, the opposite is usually true. People relate to you and suddenly feel you too are human just like them.
Be careful though, there is a difference between vulnerability and down right self pity.
Don’t be holding pity parties all over the web, you won’t be thanked for it and it won’t grow your business!
8. Don’t be afraid to say I don’t know
To be honest this one is very similar to point 7, but I read this one somewhere recently (my memory escapes me) and it really resonated with me.
So many people will never say I don’t know for fear of being seen incompetent. But I’ve found if someone says – ‘hmmm, don’t know the answer to that one’ and then goes and finds out, it makes me love them just that little bit more!
9. Don’t talk, act
My other half is a doing machine.
By the time I’ve had an idea and discussed it with him he’s off and running. It’s inspiring to watch if not a little daunting at times.
But there’s nothing more attractive than a person who takes action.
If you want to attract people to your brand, don’t tell them what you are going to do (guilty), don’t announce what’s coming up (guilty), don’t talk, just do it!
10. Believe in yourself
Quite possibly the most important point, you have to believe in yourself and your business.
You are going to hit big brick walls, naysayers, critics, times of complete stasis no matter how hard you work.
The only thing that will keep you moving forward will be the self belief you have in yourself and what you’re doing.
You may have tried doubts about your abilities, you may have brief doubts about your effectiveness. These can be overcome. If however you doubt your intentions or your purpose, these will halt you in your tracks.
So make sure your why as strong as a ox, fuel your mind regularly and surround yourself with people who know you can! 😁
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You will hear me talk a lot this year about content.
My entire goal over the next 12 – 24 months and beyond is to offer as much value as possible via my blog, podcasts, videos & social media accounts.
I’m pretty sure my future is in writing and the bigger my audience, the more people I can impact and hopefully demonstrate how to live the best life possible with ultimate freedom and choice!
But time is against me.
This is not our full time business, our daughter is at a stage where she needs a lot of support, exercise is now a part of my daily life, I travel – a LOT, and it’s challenging to fit it all in!
So here’s my 2 Hour a Day Content and Social Media Strategy in the hope that it helps you if you’re also on a time budget!
1. Core Content
In order to make posting on social media easier I am creating some consistent core content that can be used in different formats on the different outlets.
I wouldn’t say this is an absolute must to start out.
You could just as easily create an account on Instagram or Facebook and focus entirely on putting all your content just on one or both of those platforms and grow a huge audience without having any content anywhere else.
I would even recommend that strategy if you’re just starting out, but I’m trying to reach a broad audience across multiple platforms so to do that having some solid core content at the center of the strategy helps!
So my core content is;
1. Daily Blog (written)
2. Weekly Videos posted on YouTube (also posted on my blog)
3. Podcast 2 – 3 times / week (please note keeping this very simple. If I get time to interview someone I will, but many of the podcasts are just me and can be done while I’m out on a walk, killing two birds with one stone! – also posted on my blog)
My Daily Blogs take me 20 – 30 mins to write, sometimes a bit longer if it’s a bit of a meaty subject, but generally not too long, plus I can write them when I’m waiting for my daughter to come out from school, while I’m waiting at the dentist, while we’re on a journey somewhere etc.
My weekly videos, I tend to record 3 or 4 at a time on a Friday morning and because we have building works going on next door, I have precisely 1 hour maximum to do this!
My podcasts are generally voice renditions of my Daily Blogs so take maybe 5 – 10 mins per podcast. Easy peasy.
On average – 1 hour a day to create my core content
2. Social Media
I upload my weekly Make It Happen Monday video and that’s about it! One of these days I will spend some time working out YouTube SEO etc, but for now, I’ll just keep uploading the videos 🙂
I will go on and post some of my Daily Blogs in their entirety. A simple copy & paste job, takes less than a minute.
I add my Make It Happen Monday video & description every Monday
I have a lady in the Philippines who every week schedules – 1 – 2 quote images, a video segment, perhaps an old MIHM episode etc. She works about 2 hours a week for me (around $10 / week)
Ok so Instagram is new to me and I’m just starting to get my head around how it all works.
I was researching other accounts recently and made a note of the type of content that might interest my potential audience;
In depth interesting information about building a lifestyle business
Book Covers of books I’ve read
People who inspire me
Great travel pics
So for now, I’ve decided to post twice a day, once being a travel image, the second being something from above – a quote, or business tip etc.
I also upload my MIHM episode to IGTV which highlights a clip on my feed and I’m about to start playing with stories this week, the goal being to get to posting one every couple of days (although when I’m traveling might be one a day!)
On average about 1 hour a day posting on social media.
So that’s the strategy I will be following over the coming months.
Some content cross fed between blog & platforms, some completely stand alone.
I think the days of using social media as a conduit to your website are gone. Social media now stands on it’s own and you have to get your head around who the audience is on each platform and talk to them accordingly.
If the above sounds too overwhelming, I urge you to pick one platform and focus all your energy & attention there. The chances are you’ll have more success and bigger growth by channeling all your energy into just one social media platform.
I have to be honest even though I’m posting on YT, FB & Insta, my attention right now is on Instagram.
That’s where the bulk of my energy is going.
I hope that helps!
Happy Audience Building!